The Best Shoes in the World

To understand my dear child,
don't be irrational; don't be wild,
don't shout, don't react, be ladylike and kind,
before you utter the words, you must rewind,
put yourself in the shoes of the other,
not an enemy not a foe, he is a brother.

Growing up in a matriarchal environment coupled with my convent based educational foundation meant that no moral was left to be imparted, no age old adage was left untold and an ideal girl for an ideal world was quite successfully created. What my foundation makers conveniently forgot though was- the world isn't ideal and it was never going to be. However, they were doing their best to fit me in the mould, they expected me to follow footsteps and become human gold.
I guess the fact that I was indeed the black sheep of the family had sunk in even before somebody had vocalised it and established it, hence disagreeing with almost all came very naturally to me. However, I still kept my third eye closed for almost 15 years, where I led a life influenced by bookish knowledge and a cocoon like exposure, nodding and following as much as I could, as much as my heart allowed which did seem to show signs of breaking by the time I was 16/17. So I tried my best to be a good daughter, a good grandchild and a good sister, all by virtue of being a conformist. According to the elders , it was the 'right' thing ( it's funny how they didn't see grey, it was ALWAYS black and white with absolutely no scope of tints and shades ). This foundation of mine, which lay upon all possible 'right things' written in books led to the occurrence of two things-
1- It made me appreciate and put in effort into my academics, despite the fact that I was pressurised and taunted and compared and complained about.
2- It made me become so generous and morally upright that by the time it was time to take an independent decision, I was busy putting myself in someone else's shoes and thinking what's best for the other ( as the joy of giving is incomparable ).
I was always emphatically told that more often than anything, the fault is always and should always be mine- this was right. When someone fought with me, I was to apologise, when someone threatened me, I was supposed to back out, when someone didn't have food, I was to offer mine, if someone disappointed me, then I was to feel sorry for the person as there must have been some reason which I was unaware of. The story just continued to the extent that whenever anyone else was involved in the matter, I was always to be more patient, understanding, giving, serving, honest etc. The rule became clearer after practicing - the other person was always right, and I was always to bend. This realisation which almost turned to a fact made me give everyone I came in contact with many a benefits of doubt. So I would keep standing and offer others space, I would offer my clothes to someone who needed them more, I would complete the assigned work and offer others a much needed break.
Little did I know, that apart from the people I understood to be sufferers, they were also people beyond this, they were mere takers. They came, they sought, they got and they bid adieu, knowingly or unknowingly . While coming in contact with this kind, I realised the feel good factor was somehow diminishing and the feel-used factor was gradually on the rise. While I was busy putting and somehow struggling and fitting myself in possibly all sorts of shoes, my pair of shoes were being trampled upon mercilessly while they lay unworn by anyone.
Even today, at my silver jubilee age, I struggle hard not to think about the other person first, it almost seemed like an innate quality for quite a while. Thankfully I am at a junction of my life where I am open to changing, shaping myself differently in exchange for betterment of any kind. I realised that while the will to serve with a smile and do so willingly with enthusiasm may be highly appreciated, it definitely cannot be offered to anyone and everyone.

Before putting myself in everyone's shoes so eagerly, I need to understand , appreciate and compliment my own shoes as well. Concluding that everyone's shoes are more wear worthy than mine is foolish, and thus I plan to stay in my shoes for as long as I can. My shoes have their pros and they have their cons but guess what ? My shoes are the best shoes in the whole wide world.