Listening to one of my school rock anthems, it filled me
with a certain zest, a certain inflamed energy instantly, a brightly burning
desire to do something , to change something, to revolutionise. You know that
power which suddenly takes all over you, filling you with the strongest emotion
you have ever felt or thought of. Ruling your entire body with one consistent
feeling, one pure thought of following your heart ? It is the moment of truth,
it is the moment which tells you- IT’S NOW OR NEVER !
How is it that age has calmed us down, almost numbing the
nerves and senses which used to cause an eruption every second minute as a
teenager? The overpowering smell of youth, travelling across the winds, enveloping
the practical world in a mist of blurred goals and bold spirits, has now become
adulterated with logic and reason. We felt the world was waiting for a change,
and we felt that we could bring it about with our ideas so full of confidence
and naïve heated energy. We were young, we were wild and we were free and we
could have challenged any living entity at that given point of time. Our
blazing fires, so ready to burn down hell and rebuilt our twisted version of
heaven were all sustained with the calming, effortless and unnoticeable flow of
age. We soon gave up, like every other adult fighting to sustain the little
remaining flame inside him/her realising at the same time it was best to let go
and join them rather than trying to beat them in a futile way.
I feel I have betrayed my younger self, and if today I were
to have a confrontation with my version of 2008, I would be questioned and
looked down upon by a girl who was so confident of herself and her idea of
reality? How could you let go of your ideal hopes and dreams? How could you
abandon your individualistic conscious, being polluted by voices and things around?
You wanted to change the world, but you ended up changing yourself, was it
worth it ? You stopped gazing at the sky, and looked down upon the ground, do
you feel more now ?
The depth in your eyes seeking dreams turning to reality to
fulfil their hollow souls has now been shallowed by realistic visions so two
dimensional in nature.
The world was, and will pretty much remain the same always,
with the same games to play, and the same goals to attain. In this whole cycle
of nature, only the players and their guiding instincts and chosen paths vary.
At the end of the day, we seek happiness and satisfaction, be it as a teenager,
as a young adult, as a responsible spouse or as a profit chasing business man .
Through this journey, happiness may acquire many a cloaks to hide it’s
magnificent beauty within, but at the heart of each novel disguise lies the
same feeling, of bliss, of satisfaction, of proud possession.
As we seek the same goal throughout, our ways eventually evolve;
our passion towards it may get diluted with practicality and realism. It’s quite evident who ultimately conquers /
meets / touches the goal . Imagine a race, with two motors competing, one with
a 100% pure petroleum content, the other with a mixed and adulterated petrol
content, they both move forward, one with greater speed driven by a passion
pure and intense, and the other slightly slower, content with the second position
. We can think of it as both finally attaining the goal or of one being the
winner and the other losing out, the perspective is entirely ours. As far as my
outlook is concerned, I would either do it with passion, or not do it at all !
